While viewing President Jimmy Carter’s state-sponsored funeral, Vladimir Putin couldn’t help but notice past presidents and vice presidents ignoring President Trump. Even Karen Pence, Vice President Pence’s wife, would not acknowledge Trump as he stood right in front of her. Putin reached out to Trump to offer a state sponsored funeral in Moscow to make things right when Trump moves on to his reckoning.
Victor Orban, the fascist president of Hungary, will give a eulogy. As will Tulsi Gabbard, Trump’s pick for Director of National Intelligence, who is simpatico with Putin’s gripe that NATO is the reason he invaded Ukraine. Pam Bondi, Trump’s girl Friday and nominee for U.S. Attorney General will speak remotely from the Four Seasons Landscaping lot as tribute to the Stop The Steal speech she set up for Rudy Giuliani. Giuliani will have to phone it in from prison as he serves out his time for defaming two lowly poll workers in Georgia.
Trump wana be friend, Alexander Smirnov will have to phone it in too. As he is sitting in prison for making up the fake Burisma/Biden bribery tale that Republicans based their impeachment charge against former President Biden.
Kim Jong-un, the thug leader of North Korea, will attend the service reading his love letter from Trump.
Jared Kushner will give a eulogy thanking Trump for the 2 billion dollars he got from Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud, aka MBS who ordered the murder of the Washington Post columnist Jamal Ahmad Khashoggi.
Notable absentees: Most of the former presidents highest ranking cabinets officials. And of course, porn star Stormy Daniels. But on a lighter note, Melania has picked out her funeral outfit. The same one she wore to the Mexican border. The cargo olive jacket inscribed with I really don’t care, Do U?
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